All the Wrong Choices
by justwanttologin
Summary: Bella and Sam meet as teenagers while both on vacation and instantly have a connection. They meet again years later but he's married and she's engaged.
1. Chapter 1

Bella's POV

I love the beach but I hate that we're only here because my mom is getting married to a man that I can't stand. I mean he's nice and all but he's not my dad and it doesn't seem fair to me that I have to see him every day and I only get to see my dad in the summer and every other Christmas.

I'm lying out on a towel tired of swimming when someone blocks my sun.

"Excuse me, can you please move?" I ask him and he looks down at me. Oh he's really cute.

"I'm sorry, I was just looking for my little sister, I'm supposed to be watching her but I turned around just for a second and now she's gone." He tells me and I can tell he's scared.

"No, it's OK. I can help you look for her. What does she look like?" He describes her and we set off to look for her with him getting more and more worried by the second.

Finally I see a little girl that matches his description petting a puppy and I point her out. He runs to her and grabs her and hugs her and then yells at her.

"Thank you so much for helping me. I'm Sam. This is Cara." Cara who is still crying because he took her from the puppy and because he yelled at her probably.

"I'm Bella. Why are you watching her? I'm glad I don't have a little brother or sister." I tell him watching her trying to escape. She's cute but that would be annoying.

"I'm watching her because my dad convinced me to come on this vacation to spend time with him and I was too stupid to realize that meant me watching Cara while he stayed holed up in his room with the first dumb woman he could get in there. I should've known. I haven't seen him in 3 years." He tells me bitterly.

"Oh… I'm sorry. I'm here with my mom and soon to be step dad. They brought me because my dad couldn't get the time off. So I kind of get not being wanted. I wish I could live with my dad but my mom says he doesn't want to deal with me all the time."

"How old are you?" Sam asks me and I tell him 14. He's 16 and Cara is 3. Apparently her mom knew about Sam so as soon as Cara was born she took off before their dad could leave her too.

We spend the rest of the day and then week together swimming and sitting on the beach building sandcastles with Cara. She's actually not all that bad and I find myself thinking maybe it would be nice to have a little brother or sister. Sam adores her and other than the fact that his dad ignores them he doesn't even seem to mind watching her all the time.

We're sitting on the beach eating lunch and watch Cara make sand angels and soaking up the attention she gets from just about everyone.

"I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm going to miss you but maybe we can talk on the phone or text?" Sam asks me and I think about it.

"I really like you Sam, like I _like you. _But you live in Washington and I live in Texas and those are worlds apart when you're 14 and 16. So let's just take this week and move on OK? Because I know if I talk to you on the phone it's never going to be enough." I tell him honestly.

"You're probably right Bella. This week has been great. I'll miss you." He tells me.

"Have you ever seen that movie Serendipity?" I ask him.

"Uhh my mom loves that movie!"

"Mine too." I tell him laughing.

"So you're saying if this is meant to be more than it just will be?" He asks and I tell him yes then kiss him really quickly on the cheek.

We stay on the beach until it's dark and then we hang out in the hotel lounge until my mom drags me away.

"Good bye Sam, good bye Cara." I tell them both trying not to cry.


	2. Chapter 2

Bella's POV (3 years later)

"What's wrong with Rob?" My friend Anna asks me about the very nice and pretty hot guy that asks me out just about every day at lunch.

"Nothing is wrong with him. I'm just not interested." I tell her.

"You're not interested in anyone! Most girls would kill for your options!" She yells at me. I roll my eyes at her dramatics.

"I'm not most girls." I tell her. It's simple really.

"And the guys asking you out aren't Sam." She tells me quietly. She knows I don't like talking about him. Not getting his # was stupid.

"I know you think it's stupid but I don't see the point in dating just to date. It just ends up in drama. It's not about Sam; it's about not wasting my time." I try to convince her.

"You're a liar. You're never going to see him again Bella, it was 3 years ago and you've been to that beach every summer and you travel all the time, you've been to Washington, and you haven't meet him again. By your logic… it wasn't meant to be."

"I'm 17! It was 3 years ago! Not that Sam is the issue but even if he was it's not like I'm anywhere near dying alone! I don't like Rob! Or any of the other stupid guys!" I scream at her.

I think about Sam all the time but I didn't even get a last name so there is no way to find him. There is also a huge chance that he has completely moved on and never thinks about me at all.

"Fine, fine. What are we doing tonight? Alex asked me to go to the movies but I told him I was hanging out with you tonight. Too bad you won't just date for the sake of dating… it's like your holding for the man you're going to marry and you're probably not going to meet him until you're old… like 30 or something."

"You know what Anna; just go out with Alex tonight. I kind of just want to hang out here tonight plus I have tons of homework."

She rolls her eyes and tells me I'm boring before leaving.

Sam's POV

"Are you stupid?" Is the response I get from my cousin Leah when I tell her I'm planning on asking my girlfriend of a year to marry me.

"You're a horrible friend." I tell her completely serious.

"You're 19. I love Jake but I don't want to marry him. Things change, people change. You should wait until you're like 30 or something to get married. You still have college to get through! Not to mention you're still hung up on this Bella from the beach chic. Look at Emily… sure she's pretty but she's kind of a bitch. She doesn't even like Cara. Hope you don't ever want kids. She blows all your money on purses and shoes. She's always begging you for money you barely have, can you imagine if she's your wife? Just don't do it Sam. Wait like 5 years, or at least until after college."

"You're a bitch. I'm asking her."

Sure I would love to find Bella but it was her idea to not give #'s. I didn't have to agree so easily though! But the chances of me ever finding her are like zero percent and I love Emily.

Would I ditch Emily in a second if I found Bella? I would like to think no.

Sure she likes money but she grew up poor and I make good money working for the car dealership in the next town over. I like to make her happy. And sure she doesn't get along with Cara but Cara only comes down for the summers and I think a lot of the problem is Cara. She's jealous of anyone who takes my attention away from her so she pushes Emily ever chance she gets. I doubt Emily will not like her own kids. If she wants kids that is.

"I just don't want you to make a stupid mistake Sam. Divorce sucks especially if there are kids involved. I would know." Leah's parents divorced when she was 10 and there was a huge custody battle over her and her little brother. They still can't see each other without snapping at each other. Kind of makes me glad my dad only comes around to drop Cara off with me. He's done it ever since the beach trip I met Bella. Luckily my mom is OK with it, she knows how much I love Cara and she loves her too. I take care of her mostly still. She is my sister therefore my responsibility. My mom argues with me about it and Emily argues with me about it but I always win when it comes to her. My dad is a better dad to her than he was to me luckily or I would be trying to get her to live with me full time. He spends most of his time not working with her and saves his screwing every woman in sight ways for when she's with me.

"Thanks for the support." I tell her sarcastically.

It's not like it matters, my mind is made up. The ring is in my glove box. The date is set, one month from today.

"Do you think she's going to let Cara come stay at her house all summer?" She asks.

"Cara is a big part of my life and she knows that so of course she will let her. Not to mention I doubt she'll work so basically it will be my house so she won't have a choice."

"Yeah sounds like a great marriage. Are you coming to the movies with me and Jake?"

I tell her no; Emily wants to go shopping tonight. I would rather stay home; I have tons of homework and not enough time to do it all.

But Emily always wins when it doesn't have anything to do with Cara.


	3. Chapter 3

Bella's POV (5 years later)

While I was growing up my dad lived in California as a detective, I didn't even know that before my mom left him we all lived in a tiny town in Washington. When my dad retired he decided to move back home to Forks.

Forks, Washington.

Growing up I thought my dad didn't want me but it turns out he would have taken me in a second and my mom just wouldn't let me go. So when I got offered a job about an hour away from Forks I jumped at the chance to get to him better. So now me and my soon to be husband are moving to the place that Sam used to live, could still live. I know it's a big place, it's not like he's likely to be my neighbor but I still can't help but wonder about him more often than normal.

I met Edward my freshman year of college and right before we graduated he asked me to marry him. I never really did date until him and sometimes I wonder if that's a bad thing. I love him but sometimes I just wonder what else is out there. Over time it became less about Sam and more about lack of experience. But lately it's a lot about Sam.

We bought a house right in between Forks and Port Angeles. I am so happy that for the first time since I was 2 I will able to see my dad regularly.

We been at the new house for a few days now and with long days and some nights we've got most of the stuff unpacked and looking like a real home. I am so excited! I've never had my own place; in college I always had roommates. Some I liked and some not so much. But this, this is mine and Edward's. All ours and only ours.

"Hey since things are looking good and mostly done I think I'm going to go see my dad tonight. You want to come?" I ask him and he says sure so we shower and head there. I don't call because my dad pretty much works and comes home during the week so I'm surprised when we get there and he's not home. I call him and he tells me he's at his friend Billy's watching a game but I am welcome to come see them. We figure we came this far what's another 20 minutes.

I spent a lot of my summers at Billy's and his son Jacob's house when I was younger but it's been years.

We get there and I knock and Jacob opens the door and grabs me into a hug. Edward is glaring at him so I kind of push him away.

I introduce everyone and we all sit down to watch the game and eat pizza. Edward is miserable because he hates sports and pizza but I figure he can suffer one night of it.

Jacob and I catch up and he tells me all about his girlfriend Leah and his new job and everyone we used to hang out with.

There is a knock at the door so Jake jumps up to get it saying it's probably Leah.

She walks in with a young girl.

"Hey Sam called me just as I was leaving the shop to see if Cara could stay with me tonight. He got called out and Emily isn't answering her phone. Hope you don't mind…" She tells Jake and Jake just smiles and says of course not so Cara comes bouncing in.

Her name is Cara and she's taken care of someone named Sam. I mean the chances are… I don't know. Sam and Cara aren't like crazy rare names or anything.

"Cara this is Bella, Charlie's daughter and Edward her fiancée. Bella, Edward this is Cara, Leah's cousin's sister. She stays with him most of the summer." Jake introduces us.

"My brother used to talk about this girl named Bella all the time. Then he met Emily and he stopped. But he was happier talking about that girl then he is being with Emily." Cara tells me smiling.

Oh holy macaroni.

"Sam? As in that Sam? With the adorable sister named Cara? As in Serendipity Sam? Oh this is wonderful." Edward snaps at me.

Edward and I were really good friends before we started dating. Like tell each other everything friends.

"I don't think…" I start but he cuts me off.

"Really Bella? Sam with a sister Cara that talks about a girl named Bella all the time?"

"You're that Bella? Bella from the beach?" Cara asks getting all excited while everyone else is just watching us.

"Well are you that Bella?" Leah asks.

"I'm engaged!" I yell at them and then I take off asking Edward to just drive home, I will get my dad to bring me home later.

I walk to this spot on the beach where Jake and I played when I was really little.

"Bella?" Someone calls my name and I turn.

"Quil!" I run to him and hug him. He used to play with us.

"What are you doing here?" He asks happily.

"I was visiting my dad at Billy's with my soon to be husband when Leah comes with a girl named Cara and I think my whole world may have just fallen apart."

"I don't get it."

"Yeah it's a long story." I tell him.

Jake walks up and hugs me and tells me Edward went home like I asked him too.

"Tell me the story; I don't like not knowing things!" Quil demands and Jake laughs at him.

"This is Sam's Bella. And apparently he's Bella's Sam too and before they were dating she told Edward all about him. Then Cara comes in and hears Bella's name and tells her about how her brother is always talking about a girl named Bella and Edward put the pieces together. He's not happy." He fills Quil in.

"Cool! If anyone can break him and Emily up it would be you!" Quil tells me like an excited kid.

"She's engaged." Jake reminds him.

"To a guy she told all about Sam." He points out.

"Stop it!" I yell at them. "I don't like being discussed."

"Sorry Bella." They both tell me.

"This is crazy. I mean I hoped for years I would find him in some random restaurant or that he would be visiting that beach again. I even came to Washington with Phil's team. I held on to him until I fell in love with Edward. I love Edward." I tell them but they look unconvinced.

"You love him yes, but what if this is the serendipity thing?" Quil asks and I look at him surprised.

"That's such a girl thing to believe in. I can't believe he told you about it."

"He turns into a girl when it comes to you." Jake says laughing.

"But seriously if you were half as bad before you started dating Edward that he was before he met Emily can you really just go about living your life like he doesn't live an hour away?" Quil asks and I don't have an answer.

"I'm going to ask my dad to take me home." I tell him instead but Quil offers to take me and I agree so I don't have to make my dad leave early. We walk back to the house so I can say good bye to everyone.

"I'm sorry I made you mad." Cara tells me as soon as I walk in.

"Oh no sweetie, I wasn't mad at you or mad at all. Just a bit shocked is all." I tell her and she smiles and hugs me good bye. After all the goodbyes we get in Jake's truck and Quil starts driving.

"You believed in fate when you were 14 Bella. Sometimes our younger selves that are untouched by life are the smartest version of us." He tells me and I glare at him.

"You're supposed to be funny not deep. That's Embry's job. How is he anyways?"

"Em is great, has a little boy. Still deep but sometimes I have to step in. I'm not trying to push Bella; maybe you're insanely happy with this Edward dude. But maybe you're with him because it was close enough to what you wanted. I know that's why Sam is with Emily and now he's miserable."

"I'm not miserable." I tell him honestly.

"Good."

When we get to my house he hugs me and tells me to come visit them soon. I tell him I will though I'm already planning ways on forever getting out of it.

I walk in the house and Edward is in the kitchen making some nasty vegetarian food. We are always fighting about food. I like junk and meat and he's into super health food, vegan when he can. It's disgusting.

"Hey." Is all I can think to say as I sit at the table and watch him.

"Hey, I'm making pasta with red sauce if you want any. I can cook some chicken for you to put in yours if you want, who brought you home?"

"I'm not hungry and Quil brought me home, he's an old friend like Jake. Edward you know this isn't my fault right?" I ask him.

"Of course it's not your fault Bella, but I know you and even though you pretend it's a child's thing I know you still believe in fate and I know right now you're wondering how it all happened like this. With him married and you about to be married? How does it play out? With you and him together or is this your way of closure? Since he's miserable from the way it seems I can't imagine you see it as your way of closure. And like I said… I know you."

"Edward I love you, I don't even know Sam, and he could be someone I hate now. I know 16 year old Sam and really I don't even know him that well."

"Yet you used to spend hours and hours talking about him. I don't want you going to La Push anymore. And I don't want you hanging out with Jake either." He tells me completely serious and I start laughing which just pisses him off.

"Edward my dad spends most of his not working time at Billy's so I will be spending time there and you cannot tell me who I can hang out with. You're being crazy. I love you and I'm marrying you. Do you not trust me?"

"Maybe I just don't trust fate and I don't feel like you should be pushing it."

"Edward I love you but I'm not giving up La Push or Jake because they would only hurt my relationship with my dad." I tell him and then walk out and collapse into our bed.

Welcome home Bella.


	4. Chapter 4

Bella's POV

I wake up the next morning to an empty bed so I sigh loudly and dramatically and get up to find Edward.

He's in the kitchen making pretend eggs with his vegan pretend egg stuff.

"I heard your sigh." He tells me smiling.

"Why are you smiling? Did you figure out how to keep me prisoner? Shock collar maybe?" I ask him and he face falls.

"I overreacted Bella."

"So I'm not banned from La Push?"

He sighs and says no I'm not and he's sorry he even said it.

"My sighs are far better. Are you going to make me real eggs or should I go to McDonalds?"

He makes a disgusted look and tells me he'll make me real eggs. We spend the rest of the morning finishing the little bit of unpacking and putting the house together. We both start working after the weekend.

I get a text from an unknown #.

**Hey beautiful it's Quil. Got the # from your dad. Anyways Embry's son's 1****st**** birthday is today and he's dying for you to come. I told him I would ask you but I'm pretty sure your boyfriend is pissed about last night. And in full disclosure Cara will be there for sure and there is good chance Sam will be too. Let me know. - Quil**

"So Edward… about La Push, my other friend's having a birthday party for his son today and wants me to come but…"

"Sam will be there? Shocking. Am I allowed to go or is this a Bella/Sam reunion setup?"

"Of course you can go you idiot. You need to stop with this crap!"

I text Quil back and tell him we will be there and get the details.

3 hours later we pull up to his house with a present we bought and wrapped on the way. I am so nervous I can hardly breathe but I'm trying to hide it because I don't want Edward to know how nervous I am.

"Breathe darling or you'll pass out and that would be embarrassing for you." He tells me chuckling. I kind of want to slap him.

I start to knock on the door but Embry opens it before I can.

"Bella!" He grabs me and hugs me but Edward doesn't glare this time. I guess because he has a wife. Well Sam has a wife too so… Get Sam out of your head Bella.

"It's so good to see you Embry!" I squeal. He says hi to Edward and then drags me after him to meet his wife Michele and his little boy Aaron. He is adorable and she is smiling at me and telling me she's so happy I could come.

Quil comes up and grabs me and spins me around and Edward is back to glaring. So it is the wife thing. Somehow I doubt the rule will hold in Sam's case.

"He's here." He whispers in my ear then says hi to Edward who looks like he wants to kill him.

I look at him hoping he'll give me some more information to hopefully avoid him.

He glances towards to back door. OK, so just don't go outside. I can do that.

Then the door opens and every emotion and memory from that week with him come flooding back and I lose all the strength in my body. I grab onto Quil because he's standing closer than Edward is and I hear Edward mumble I assume that is Sam.

He looks right at me then turns around and goes outside again. Unfortunately at this exact moment Cara comes out of the kitchen, smiles at me and then drags me to the backyard and yells for Sam.

I am really starting to not like this kid.

"Hi Bella." Sam says quietly and I almost melt. Jake comes up and puts his arm around me thankfully.

"Hi Sam, it's uh… nice to see you?" It's not meant as a question but that is undoubtedly how it comes out.

"You too, you look so different but so much the same too."

"Is this her? The girl you think about when you're having sex with me?" Some woman comes out and Jake yells at her to shut up, this is a kid's birthday party. "Who cares? The only kids here are Aaron and he doesn't have a clue what's going on and Cara and she's a little slut."

"Emily if you don't shut up right now I will literally throw you out of this house." Sam threatens her and she smirks and walks off.

"Wow Sam. She's a bitch." I tell him and he shrugs it off.

"OK well I'm supposed to be grilling so…" He walks off leaving me standing there in shock.

"Why the hell is he with her?" I ask Jake quietly.

"Did you see her face?" He asks.

"The scars, yeah?"

So he pulls me into the house, waves at Edward and drags me into an empty room and then tells me the story of how she wanted to go to a club one night but Sam was studying for a big test and refused to go, which was rare so she went with just a girlfriend and they got separated and Emily ended up getting raped in the alleyway and he apparently slashed her face as constant reminder. I tell him that's all awful but I don't understand why Sam is with her when she treats him and Cara like that. He says Sam feels at fault because if he had been there it wouldn't have happened.

"No one would blame him if he left her but Sam is a good man and he feels like he's responsible for her happiness now. You might be the only that would change his mind, but I get it. You love Edward."

I walk out to find Edward and he smiles this I love you but I kind of want to kill you smile. I get that a lot.

For the rest of the party I stick to Edward and we eat and watch the baby open his presents and play in his cake and then we head out before everyone.

"So how did your reunion go?" he asks and I sigh my dramatic sigh. "I have to know Bella; I saw the way you nearly fainted at the sight of him."

"Honestly? I felt like a 14 year old girl with her long time crush talking to her for the first time. And then I realized I'm 22 and engaged. Even if I desperately wanted him Jake told me when he dragged me to the back room, when you probably assumed we were having sex, that he feels unwarranted guilt over the scars on her face."

"Oh yes, I got that from Embry who felt bad for me being so uncomfortable so he told me the story. He's odd but I like him and his lovely _wife. _I knew you were not having sex; you couldn't have been so quiet. But back to his unwarranted guilt… the way he looks at you, I'm quite sure he would kill Emily if you asked him too. So will you?"

"Will I what?" I ask him confused.

"Ask him to kill her."

"Oh yes of course. Probably the night before our wedding for the added drama." I tell him sarcastically.

"Always were a drama queen. Why do I love you?"

"Because I was the only girl in college who didn't think you were gay. I mean the hair and the piano and the ignoring of every girl throwing themselves at you. I can see it."

He laughs and then changes the subject to this Monday and the beginning of our jobs.


	5. Chapter 5

Bella's POV

As the months go on Edward gets over the Sam thing mostly because I am too busy to do anything other than work. The wedding is all planned and set for a month from now. Edward so graciously agreed to let me invite Jake and Leah and Quil and Embry and his lovely _wife. _And Cara who will be coming with Jake and Leah.

**Party tonight at Quil's. Please come! - Jake**

A party would be so much fun. I love Edward but his idea of fun is always a movie or a play or a stroll around the neighborhood. I enjoy all that stuff but sometimes getting drunk and dancing like you're stupid is fun too.

I tell him sure and figure I will fight with Edward about it later. He is gone for the weekend, visiting his parents a couple of hours away.

He tells me everyone is coming over in a couple of hours and I can come whenever so I shower and get dressed and head over.

It's only Jake and Quil right now.

"Hey beautiful, where's your body guard?" Quil asks me hugging me.

"Visiting his parents. I had too much work but I finished most of it today. Who all is coming?"

"He'll be here and she won't, she's is also out of town. What are the odds of that?" Quil answers and I stick my tongue out at him.

Jake asks if I drink and I tell him when I can get away from my body guard so he makes me a drink, I don't know what it is but it's good and I trust Jake. I haven't had a drink in a while so after just a couple I'm tipsy so he stops giving them to me telling me to pace myself, the party hasn't even started.

People start showing up and he starts giving me more and then I'm dancing with Quil who won't let go of me.

"I thought I ditched the body guard!" I yell at him.

"You are drunk beautiful and I don't know everyone here, I am not letting you out of my sight." He yells back so I give in and just dance. It's been so long since I've let go and danced.

Suddenly I feel Quil let go and someone else's arms around me, I kind of freak out because I was safe with him.

"You're OK beautiful." I hear him whisper then he walks off.

I look up into Sam's eyes.

"Sam." I whisper. "Don't let go."

"Not until you ask me too."

"Never."

Someone is handing me drinks and at this point I don't care who they come from. I'm drinking and dancing and clinging to Sam like he's mine to keep.

"I think about you all the time." I tell him.

"Oh Bella, I think about you all the time too. I never stopped, even before I hated Emily."

"I'm engaged." I remind myself out loud.

"Yeah well I'm married and I can't leave her so it's good that you're engaged because if you asked me to I would want to and I don't know what would happen."

"I love him." It comes out like I'm trying to convince him.

"I know."

"But I think I love you too." I admit to him.

I kiss him and I expect him to push me away and then I would have tried and failed and I could move on but he doesn't push me away. He kisses me back soft at first and then hard and hot and like nothing I have ever felt with Edward or anyone.

He takes my hand and starts leading me somewhere.

"You two are both drunk; you're not doing this tonight. Not drunk, not with her drunk at least." Quil stops him and I pout at him.

"Sorry beautiful not going to work. I care about you and while I don't care for your future husband I want you to end the relationship sober. You can make out all you want but you are not leaving this room." He tells me and pats me on the head.

Jerk.

I go back to drinking and dancing and making out with Sam.

And then I wake up in the sunlight curled up in Sam's arms.

Oh crap. Quil is an awful body guard.

I get up and find my clothes and quietly leave the room. Quil is in the kitchen making breakfast.

"Hey, just so you know… I tried. But I lost you and by time I found you were both naked and sleeping in my bed. What are you going to do beautiful?" He asks as he shoves a plate of food in my face. I want to puke.

"He won't leave her." I tell him like that clears it all up.

"That doesn't mean you can't leave Edward. You two fight all the time and can you really say you love him when you were so willing to sleep with Sam?"

"I was drunk." Once again… that clears it all up right?

"That just makes it easier to go after what you want. You and Sam dance around each other whenever you two are in the same room. You find ways to touch each other and you can't keep your eyes off of each other. Can you honestly tell me in a month when you walk down the aisle it will be Edward you're thinking about? I don't even like him but he deserves better than that and so do you. Even if that's not Sam. You deserve to be with a man that doesn't leave you thinking about another one."

Aggh! I know he's right but if I decide to break things off with Edward it will be hard! He was my best friend before and so breaking up with him means losing all that too.

"You sticking around to see him or you going to take off?" He asks me and I think about it. I want nothing more than to see Sam but I know it's just going to awkward and pointless.

How did this happen? Edward is the only man I've ever slept with and I ruined that in one night with a man that I barely know.

"I think I'll take off. I'd say I'll see you soon but I would be lying. I'm never coming to La Push again." I tell him. He laughs and hands me some Tylenol.

"See you soon beautiful." He tells me as I walk out the door.

No, no I really don't think so.


	6. Chapter 6

Bella's POV

The party was Friday night so I get home Saturday early afternoon leaving me an entire day to figure out what I want to do about Edward.

Mostly I sleep a lot and feel guilty when I'm awake.

Jake calls to check on me and I do the whole "oh I'm fine thing". An hour and a half later he and Quil show up at my door.

"You're fine? That's the dumbest lie ever. I'm fine means I'm falling apart but I don't want you to know." Jake says pushing his way into my house with Quil following him.

"Did he say anything?" I ask Quil.

"He said to tell you he's sorry."

"Sorry? Oh OK."

"What were you expecting beautiful? You told me yourself he won't leave her. I'm not sure I believe that but you seem to."

"I guess it's just hard to think that one night killed my relationship but he's going to go on living his life like nothing happened."

"If you end your relationship it will because you don't really love Edward like you should love your soon to be future husband. And the only reason Sam stays with Emily is the guilt. He doesn't even like her I don't think." Jake tells me.

"No, he hates her." Quil adds.

They ask me if I want to get something to eat and I tell them sure and get ready will quick. We go to the amazing pizza place I go to on my lunch break when I get one.

For the most part we talk about everything except Sam until we're all done eating and back in the truck.

"What are you going to do Bella?" Jake asks me.

"I can't marry him when all I think about is Sam and even if I could I can't keep this a secret from him. I doubt he'll even want to marry me after that. I definitely wouldn't marry him if he cheated on me." I tell him crying. I really do love Edward.

They drop me off and I go to bed dreading the next day. We have a life together, a house and a wedding that is set down to every last detail. His sisters and his mom are coming down next week for the final dress fitting.

Oh his sisters and his mom are going to hate me. His older sister never really liked me to start with.

I toss and turn all night and when I wake up Edward is making breakfast.

"Hey, I got home an hour ago but you were arguing in your sleep so I figured I would stay out here. Are you OK?" He asks me so concerned which makes me feel like the most awful person in the world.

"Um yeah not really but you should probably eat and then we can talk." I tell him.

"You're breaking up me aren't you? I knew this was coming, I'm honestly glad you've decided now rather than after we're married. I love you so much and I couldn't bring myself to do even though I know it's for the best. Can I ask why now though?" Well that was easier than I thought. He pretty much just broke up with himself for me.

"I slept with Sam. I am sorry Edward,so so sorry. I do love you."

"So you're breaking up with me so I don't break up with you? What happened?" He asks and I can hear the hurt in his voice.

"Jake invited me to a party at Quil's house and it's been so long since I've been to party so I went and I was drinking, you know how I am when I drink, I get stupid. At first I was only taking drinks from Jake but then I don't know who was giving me drinks and I was dancing with Quil at first. He wouldn't let me go because I was drunk and he wanted to make sure I was OK but then he handed me off to Sam and even though Quil tried to stop us we ended up in his bed. I don't even remember it but I know it happened. I'm so sorry. I should have ended this before it came to this. I love you Edward but you deserve someone who can give you everything."

"Bella…"

"And just so you know this is not me leaving you to be with Sam, he told me last night he wouldn't leave her. Um, you can keep this house, I will move in with my dad until I can find a place."

"No, you will stay here until you can find a place. Bella I am hurt but you have been my best friend for a long time now and I don't really want to lose you completely."

"You're serious? I cheat on you a month before our wedding and you still want to be friends with me? You're too good Edward."

"This is true; you will however have to deal with my mom and sisters." He tells me.

"It's a fair trade off for not losing you." I tell him hugging him and crying.

"And Bella… I don't care what Sam said, he wants you just as much as you want him and he will leave her for you. All you have to do is ask. So don't be stupid and deny yourself the one thing you truly want out of some guilt for me."

"I won't ask him. I shouldn't have to." I tell him.

"You're probably right." He tells me kissing me head and handing me breakfast.


	7. Chapter 7

Bella's POV

I found a small apartment not far from the house a couple of weeks after I broke up with Edward. His sisters hate me but his mom is happy that we're staying friends because we're close. I haven't been back to La Push choosing instead to meet my dad for dinner and throwing myself into work and avoiding Jake and Quil.

I just got home from a long day at work with a pizza and a bottle of wine and a stack of work. I walk upstairs juggling everything until I see Sam standing in front of my door causing me to drop it all. Papers scatter everywhere and my bottle of wine shatters. Luckily my pizza is OK. I start gathering my papers with Sam helping me until we have them all and he holds my pizza while I unlock my door and he follows me in completely uninvited.

"What are you doing here Sam?"

"Cara is leaving in a week and she misses you."

"Have you ever heard of a phone? Or Quil or Jake? I find it completely unnecessary for you to have driven all the way here."

"I thought you would come to me, ask me to leave her." He tells me quietly.

"I'm not that kind of girl, the home wrecking kind I mean."

"Of course you're not but Bella I told her I wanted a divorce, she's of course going to fight me every step of the way and probably end up with the house and most of my money but I want to be with you."

"Come talk to me when the divorce is final."

"Can't we be friends at least until then?" He asks so hopefully.

"I don't know… maybe I can just not avoid La Push and if I see you around then we can hang out?"

"That's not nearly enough but I will take what I can get." He tells me and then I offer him pizza and he tells me he'll run out and get more wine, I thought about telling him not to worry about it but I really want my wine.

When he comes back we make awkward small talk until the wine kicks in and then we talk about our childhoods and how we thought our lives would play out and all our hopes and dreams and all the hopes and dreams that have shattered in the past.

And then he leans over and kisses me and in the end I don't have the willpower or even the desire to stop us from ending up in bed again.

I don't think I'll be able to wait until his divorce is final.

Over the next month he starts meeting with lawyers trying to keep her from taking his business and he spends a lot of time here with me and away from her.

One night he comes over and I can tell something is wrong right away.

He's going on and on about how sorry he is and he never wanted this and he loves me and I tell him to shut up and please tell me what the issue is.

"She's pregnant Bella. I cannot leave her now. I won't put a child through all that drama and fighting that comes with divorced parents and I refuse to be my father. I love you Bella but I have to stay with her." He tells me and I can see the sorry in his eyes but it's not enough. I let him in when I know I should've waited but I trusted him to go through with this and while I understand his reasoning kid's deal with this stuff all the time and survive. My parents divorced when I was 2 and I think, or at least thought, I grew up to be a pretty decent person. Now I'm thinking I'm just plain stupid.

"Yeah you need to go now. I'll see you around, I'm not going to give up Quil and Jake and Leah over this but please when you see me… just pretend you don't."

He walks out giving me one last sad look but my ability to care is shot.

I call the one person who knows every thought I have had about Sam… Edward.

True to his too goodness he comes rushing over with wine and chocolate and holds me while I cry.

"Bella honey it's going to be OK, you're a wonderful woman. You'll find someone who can give you everything. I mean I think you should probably take a break from men, cleanse yourself of the whole screwing the married man right after breaking off your engagement and then you should date. Just date to date. Don't date for marriage or date to forget Sam. Just date."

"Can I date you?" I ask him.

"Hmm… that would be weird and you've had your fill of weird so I'm going to have to say no but if I happen upon anyone I think would be suitable dating material I will send them your way."

"I shouldn't have broken up with you." I tell him sadly.

"We are so much better friends than we were a couple, we never fight. I don't have to suffer cooking you meat or smelling your fast food. We weren't meant to be."

"I don't believe in meant to be. I believe in constant heartache." I cry to him.

"You'll be happy one day. I promise."

He stays the night with me lying next to me making me laugh until at least for now I forget all I want to do is cry.


	8. Chapter 8

Bella's POV

Sam's baby is due in a month and I've managed to not talk to him at all since he left my house that night. He's done his part in avoiding me like I've asked.

When I'm not at work or working I'm with Quil or Jake and Leah. Tonight we are meeting at the movie theater to see some new superhero movie, not my thing but I got outvoted.

I get there and call Quil and he tells me they'll be there soon, save them seats and he'll get me a drink and some candy.

30 minutes later he sits next to me and hands me my drink and a box of skittles and puts his arm around me.

"Good seats beautiful, sorry we're late." He whispers in my ear.

"You're not late, the previews just started." I whisper back.

The movie is awful and I probably would've fallen asleep if it hadn't been so loud.

After the movie Jake and Leah go home and Quil and I end up Wendy's.

"You eat awful." He tells me laughing as I eat my double cheeseburger and mayo on my fries.

"But I work out every morning to make up for it!" I defend myself.

"You're beautiful, you know that right?" he tells me and I blush and say whatever. "You really are."

I quickly change the subject to tomorrow when we're all supposed to be hanging out at the beach.

"Right… about that, Sam will be there. I'm sorry it's just Cara is here and she wants to see Leah and she's only here for a couple of days so Sam wants to spend the time with her and we don't even have to go, we can do something else."

"No, it's fine you can go. I should probably catch up on some work anyways." I tell him disappointed but determined to avoid Sam.

"Come on Bella, you're always going to be part of our lives and so is he. So just come with me, you don't have to hang out with him or anything. But Cara asks about you too. I'll stay with you all day. Don't let him ruin the whole day." I ask him if Emily is going to be there and he says he's not sure but probably not. She usually doesn't do anything with him especially if Cara is there.

"Fine, I will go and try. I do miss Cara." I tell him and he smiles.

The next day I wake up and consider changing my mind. But Quil is right, these were my plans too. He has to work for a little while so I go to Jake's house. I walk in and he looks surprised to see me.

"He told you Sam is coming right?" He asks and I tell him yes but he also convinced me to come anyways. "He likes you Bella."

"I like him too. I love hanging out with all of you."

"Yeah we all like you but he really likes you. He wants to ask you out but he's afraid you'll say no and then it will ruin your friendship." He tells me.

"Oh… oh I don't know. I like him but I don't know if I like him like that. I mean I kind of think I should be done with men. My experience with them hasn't been great."

"When you're with just me you talk about Sam all the time, Quil says you never talk about him anymore."

You deserve to be with a man that doesn't leave you thinking about another one is what he told me when I was trying to decide if I should break up with Edward.

"How long Jake?" I ask him.

"How long what?" He asked confused.

"Has he liked me?"

"Oh. I don't know. I mean he always liked you. I don't know when he starting liking you more. He just told me a few days ago to see what I thought."

I ask him what he told him and he said he told him to just take it slow and not to push.

"He would never push." I tell him.

"I know but he asked."

Jake gets ready and Leah comes over and the 3 of us go to the beach.

"Where is he?" I ask Jake. He promised to stay with me all day. Jake tells me he gets stuck at work a lot of times on Saturday. He could have mentioned that. "Don't worry; you just stick with me until he gets here."

Cara runs up and hugs all of us and I look up and see Emily hanging all over Sam.

"She won't let him out of her sight. She says she's so scared she's going to go into labor. He's so annoyed with her that he's even being mean to me. I called my dad and begged him to not make me stay. Hopefully he chills the freak out after the baby is born." She tells me and I feel bad for her.

"I'm sure he will Cara, he's probably just tired." I tell to hopefully make her feel better.

She mumbles yeah probably and runs off to play in the water.

"We're going swimming Bella, you want to come?" Jake asks and I tell him no thanks. I'm more for sunning and watching the waves. Jake tells me he'll stay with me but I tell him no, it's OK. I doubt Sam will bother me with Emily here.

I lay out my towel and lay back and close my eyes. I love the sun. I feel someone sit down next to me but I think maybe if I pretend I'm asleep they'll go away.

"You're a terrible actor beautiful." Quil tells me laughing.

I open my eyes and smile at him.

"I'm so sorry I got hung up at work." He tells me running his fingers over my stomach.

"It's OK. Jake offered to babysit me but I told him he didn't need to."

"Well OK then, let's go swimming." He stands up and offers me his hand.

I tell him I don't like swimming and he says I used to like it. He remembers.

"Yeah but now I don't like how out of control I feel. Just floating around in the huge ocean that could easily sweep me away." I admit to him.

"I'll hold you the whole time and I will bring you back if it gets to be too much." I tell him fine and get up. We get to the edge and stand there for a while with the water just swishing over my feet.

Then he grabs my hands and takes me farther and farther in. I'm doing OK because the waves aren't that high and we're splashing water at each other when a huge wave crashes over me and knocks me off my feet. I start freaking out making it impossible for me to get my balance back. Quil grabs me and pulls me up and I hold onto to him tight.

"I am so sorry beautiful. I just keep letting you down today." He tells me rubbing my back. "Wrap your legs around me; it will be easier for me to hold you above the water like that." He tells me so I do.

He carries me until the water is low and then he takes me back to my spot and hands me a towel.

"I'm so sorry." He tells me.

"Don't be! Besides almost drowning that was fun. More fun than up here. Maybe I just won't go so far next time."

"I thought you didn't like the water." Jake laughs sitting next to me.

"Things change." I tell him. He laughs and grabs Leah's hand and they run back off.

"What was that all about?" Quil asks.

"I'm damaged goods. That's all." I tell him.

"You are not damaged goods beautiful. You've made so bad decisions but who hasn't?"

"You're too good for me." I whisper.

"Damn Jake." He mumbles.

"I'm selfish enough to not care." I tell him.

"I am not too good for you and if you let me I promise I will convince you of that." He tells me looking me right in the eyes.

"You can try." I whisper.

"Can I kiss you?" He asks and I whisper yes.

We spend the rest of the day with me in his arms either in the water or on the beach.

As we're getting into his truck that night Sam calls my name. I look at Quil and he tells me to go talk to him.

"Are you doing this to make me jealous?" He asks and I laugh.

"No, not at all. For once this has nothing to do with you. You have a wife and a baby on the way. I'm sorry you're not happy but I'm not going to not be happy too." I tell him.

"I want you to be happy Bella." He tells me sadly.

I watch him walk away and get into the truck.

Quil asks if I'm OK and I smile and tell him I really am.


	9. Chapter 9

Bella's POV

Things are going good with Quil and seeing Sam doesn't even bother me anymore. Quil and Edward even play nice so we have dinner together every couple of weeks. Edward has a new girlfriend, Tanya and she seems perfect for him. All into gross vegan food and plays and all that other stuff that I tolerated.

I have an hour left at work and I get called into the boss's office. I'm nervous because he's the kind of boss that leaves you alone unless something is wrong.

"Bella sit down." He tells me when I walk in and I sit, trying to look like I'm not about to pass out from nerves. "I'm so sorry but we're making cuts and you're one of them. You're good at your job but you can tell your hearts not in it. I wish you all the luck and if you need a reference I will definitely give you one. You can finish out this week and we will pay you for the rest of the month. Feel free to leave early today."

"Um, OK thank you." I tell him leaving.

This really sucks. If I was married it wouldn't be a huge deal but I'm not. I'm not even going to be able to afford rent with no job and there are no advertising agencies anywhere near here. I'm going to have to move to who knows where.

I pack up my stuff for the day and head home. I'm supposed to meet Quil and Edward and Tanya in three hours but I don't want to go now. I just want to drink a bottle of wine and forget that I don't have a job which soon means I won't have any money or an apartment or anything.

I call Quil first to cancel lying; telling him I'm sick and then I call Edward and tell him the same thing.

30 minutes later Edward shows up.

"You're not sick, you're a terrible liar." I let him in and collapse on the couch with my wine.

"I got laid off. I'm going to have to move to who knows where and I'm going to have to break up with Quil and never see my dad again." I tell him sobbing. He takes my wine and holds me.

"Bella, honestly you hate advertising. You majored in it because my dad told you how wonderful it would be for you to do it because eventually you could come work for him."

His dad told me I could work for him as soon as we were married, he only hires family. He hated that Edward went into education so convinced me to go into advertising.

"I do hate it but it's what I do." I tell him.

"But you could do anything, you always liked taking pictures. You don't even need a degree for that."

"But you do need experience."

"You have experience; you take amazing pictures of everything. You have scenery, you have my niece's baby pictures, and you have horses from that trip we took. You have thousands of pictures for a portfolio. You could easily get hired on somewhere or could probably start your own business."

"Photography doesn't pay. At least until you're super popular." I argue.

"Then move in with someone. Bella you're 23, it's OK to not have your whole life figured out. Move in with your dad or Quil or move back in with me if you want."

"Right… I'm sure Tanya would love that." I tell him sarcastically.

"Tanya loves you and she tells me all the time she can't see how we were ever a couple. No chemistry. But in the end she's just a girl I'm dating and you're my best friend. As of now you still come first. One day that will change but for now you're good." He tells me seriously.

"I don't deserve you." I tell him quietly. He tells me I'm right but he loves me anyways.

I drink an entire bottle of wine and when then shows up, because he knew I was lying too and now I am drunk.

He's trying to figure out what happened, why I lied and why I'm drunk with Edward and I just want to make out. He tells me to sit down and simmer down for a minute. I sit down and pout.

"She got laid off and now she's thinking she has to move and she's upset mostly because she doesn't want to leave you. And she now apparently gets drunk when she's upset." Edward tells him.

"Yeah I think that's my fault, she likes drinking and at first it wasn't big deal but now it's her way of coping and her way of having fun. But I don't think she really started until that party where she slept with Sam." Quil tells Edward and he sounds guilty.

"No it started way before that, I just always hated it so she didn't do it much. So when she realized you didn't care that probably didn't help. But it's not your fault; it is kind of your problem though. Unless you want to just let her move away."

I tell them I'm not anyone's problem and I can move if I want to. Quil sits next to me and pulls me into his arms and asks if I want to move. I tell him no, I really don't but I need a job and advertising is my career and all the advertising agencies are far far away. Then Edward tells him how I hate advertising and he's trying to convince me to go into photography and I can move in with him if I need to or want to.

"You do not have to move beautiful, you can move in with me and you can find a job if you want but you don't even have too. There are jobs in La Push, but not high paying jobs really. And if you want to do photography I can help you start it up. Money is not an issue for me, you know that."

His grandfather handed down his custom furniture store down to him along with his completely paid off house and all his money when he died.

"I won't let you support me." I tell him. Even drunk that's one thing I won't back down on.

"OK beautiful but let's talk about this tomorrow OK? Can I stay with you tonight?" He asks and I shake my head yes and walk to my fridge to get more wine but he takes it out of my hands.

I glare at him.

"Come on beautiful, you need to learn to cope with things without wine."

I tell him fine and it takes it back to the kitchen. He probably dumped it out. Jerk.

"So you're clearly drunk and I don't think you should out in public, you want me to order pizza?" I tell him yes and he asks Edward if he wants to stay.

"If you can take care of her, I will go." He tells him.

"Of course I can take care of her." He tells Edward annoyed but Edward just laughs and says good bye.

He asks if I want to watch a movie but I tell him I just want to have sex.

"Maybe after you eat…" He told me once he hates having sex with me while I'm drunk because he feels like he's taking advantage of me even though I told him that's dumb because I have sex with him sober all the time.

He turns the TV on and watches something and keeps holding me off of him.

"Just kissing?" I beg him and he gives in. Ha.

The pizza comes and I eat and then he puts me to bed and rubs my back and puts me to sleep.

The next morning I wake up next to him fully dressed with a killer headache.

"Good morning beautiful." He tells me kissing me.

"You put me to bed like a little kid." I whine to him.

"You know I hate when you're drunk, it was the easiest thing to do."

We lay there for a while in quiet both thinking about what happens now.

"I cannot let you support me." I tell him finally.

"That's fine but it's stupid to think you need to move away from me and Jake and your dad and even Edward. You can just take a job that doesn't pay all that well and work up, or do the photography or be a stripper. I don't care, just don't leave."

"How am I supposed to afford my rent?" I ask him.

"I'll pay it for you…"

"No! This is why I need to move."

"Bella I love you, I don't want to lose you. But if it's so easy for you to just walk away from me than fine, go. I'm going home." He gets up and gets dressed and I watch him walk out of the room and hear the door shut.

He's never said I love you before.

And now he's gone.

I suck at life.


	10. Chapter 10

Bella's POV

After Quil left I got up and showered and made some toast. A few minutes later Edward shows up at my door step.

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" I ask him tiredly.

"I do but your boyfriend called me and asked me to come check on you."

"He told me he loved me and then walked out. He's gone. I have a lot of work today. You know resumes and stuff. I've always wanted to live in Maine and eat lobster all the time."

"You hate seafood. He loves you honey and you're basically telling him that supporting yourself, no matter where you have to go to do it is more important than him."

"My mom totally lost herself when she married Phil and quit working. She never did anything she liked; it was all about baseball which she never cared about before him. I'm not going to be her."

"I don't think he would let you lose yourself and I know I wouldn't. Bella, we dated for 3 years and we lived together and we were engaged and you didn't give up anything you loved, except for drinking and that's an awful habit to have. You're stronger than that. And he makes you happy; you smile at him like you never smiled at me. Don't be stupid Bella."

I stick my tongue out at him. He laughs and says real mature. He asks if I love him and I tell him I'm not sure.

"Trust me, you do love him. But only you can decide if that's enough. Throw your toast away and we'll go get breakfast." I tell him fine and get ready.

He spends the day with me to keep me from drinking probably and we end up at the movies.

"You're thinking about him aren't you?" He asks half way through. I shake my head yes. "Think how much worse it will be when you're in Maine eating lobster you don't even like." I whisper to him that I will be right back and go to call Quil.

I tell him I'm sorry I'm so stubborn and I don't want to move. He tells me he will do everything he can to help me find a job and can I come over tonight? I tell him I come over as soon as the movie is over and Edward drops me off at home but before I'm even off the phone Edward comes out, takes the phone and tells him we're on the way.

When we get there Edward tells me good luck and if I need him to come pick me up he will.

I knock on the door and Sam opens. Um OK…

"Hey Bella, come in. Quil had to run out and then he'll be back and then he's going to keep Mason for me because Emily is in the hospital and Leah isn't answering her phone and Jake is out of town and I am so sorry but I will back as soon as possible. Actually do you mind staying with them until he gets back? She tried to kill herself because I told her I was going to take Mason from her because she leaves him in his crib all day."

"Oh Sam I am sorry, yeah go ahead and go." I tell him and he says thanks and leaves. A few minutes later Quil comes back.

"Hey, I'm sorry; I thought I would get back before you. I didn't mean for you to get stuck with the baby. I just had to run to the bank before they closed and I didn't want to have to take Mason."

"It's OK; I've only been here for like 5 minutes. I'm so sorry about this morning. You told me you loved me."

"I do love you beautiful but I don't want to hold you back."

"I love you too and I do hate advertising. I'm going to find something closer. Even if I have to waitress while I try to start a photography business. I really do love that. And I think the rent is cheaper in La Push than my apartment is right now. I mean if you still want me…" I tell him quietly.

"I still want you, I will always want you." He tells me kissing me and then Mason starts crying. "So… do you know anything about babies?" He asks and I laugh and tell him no.

We spend the rest of the night trying to keep him calm and by time Sam comes back in the morning we're both exhausted.

He knocks on the door early in the morning and Quil doesn't even hear it.

"Hey, come in. Quil is still asleep; I can get his stuff together. Is she OK?" I ask out of politeness more than caring.

"No, she's not OK." He tells me quietly.

"Oh. I'm sorry but she's going to be OK right?"

"No, she's dead. I didn't get her there fast enough."

"Oh Sam… I am so sorry. Um, do you want us to keep Mason a little while longer? So you can maybe sleep and process. I don't mind and I know Quil won't mind."

"I don't feel bad about Emily, not like I should. I feel bad that I didn't get her there in time but she did it and she was a terrible mom and a terrible wife and really just a terrible person. I should be with you; I should've taken Mason and been with you. But now I'm free."

"Go home Sam. Quil will come check on you later and we can bring Mason back whenever you want us to." I tell him gently pushing him out the door. He's being weird.

"I never stopped loving you." He whispers and the broken look on his face breaks my heart.

Did I stop loving him though?


	11. Chapter 11

Bella's POV

"Mason if you don't stop crying I am going to put you in a basket and drop off you off at the fire station." I threaten the 10 month old.

After Emily killed herself Sam needed a nanny and I could not get a job anywhere in this stupid small town, people here tend to only trust people who were born and raised here. I was neither. Mason is a sweet kid even if he does cry all the time and his dad is in love with me. We pretend he's not.

I found a tiny one bedroom apartment that makes my old apartment feel like a castle but it's close to Quil and I'm happy. I spend more time with him then I do there anyways but I like having my own space when I need it.

With Mason I go back and forth between my house and Sam's house and Quil's house. I've started doing a few photo shoots of kids for cheap to work up my business and now I have a couple of shoots a week. Suddenly I'm forever surrounded by kids and I don't even like them. They seem to like me though and it's all about the money. Well Mason is a little more than the money but he's not like my favorite thing in the world. He's cute, that's about it.

Right now we're at Quil's house waiting for Sam and then Quil should be home soon after. I try to avoid Sam's house because he's weird when I'm there.

He knocks on the door and I think finally as I open the door and hand him his crying kid.

"He's been fed and changed and played with and he will not stop crying. Seriously Sam if he cries this much with you I think he probably needs a doctor or something."

"The doctor says it's a stage but it's worse because he was kind of neglected for a while." He tells me and I can see the guilt written all over his face.

"Yeah um OK. Let me get his stuff." He follows me and puts Mason down and grabs me and turns me to look at him.

"What are you doing Sam?" I ask him trying to get away.

"You belong with me Bella, you're raising my son. You found me. You left Edward for me, Emily is gone. Why are you playing this game?" He asks me so seriously I'm kind of scared.

"I'm just Mason's nanny Sam. You pay me, that's the only reason I do it. I left Edward because I didn't love him enough but now I love Quil. Remember him? This is his house…" I tell him hoping to bring him back to reality.

Instead he seems to completely ignore me and kisses me. I start to push him away but I get caught up in the moment, in the Sam he was when he was 16 and I was 14 and it was all pure and the Sam that I fell hard for when he left her for me before she got pregnant.

And then Quil walks in and we break apart.

Sam grabs Mason and his stuff and glares at Quil before leaving.

"You never stopped wanting him did you? I was stupid to think you ever really wanted me. I love you Bella, but you belong with Sam. Please just leave." He tells and I want to argue, to tell him no. It was a moment of weakness, a stupid mistake but I kind of feel like I don't have the right to because I did kiss him back.

I stop at the liquor store for some wine, I haven't had any in a long time because Quil doesn't like it when I'm drunk but he just asked me to leave so I don't have to care anymore.

Then I go home and drink and cry and drink some more. I run out of wine and I really want some more so I go out to get some more. And then I wake up in the hospital.

"Oh thank goodness you're awake honey. Now I can kill you!" Edward yells at me and it hurts my head really, really bad.

"What happened?" I ask him.

"You ran your car into a pole. Your dad talked them into not pressing charging since you don't have a record but he's pissed. I'm pissed, Quil is pissed. What were you thinking?" He's still yelling.

"I was just upset…" I stop because the look on his face is murderous.

"Drinking because you're upset is stupid enough but driving when you're already drunk for more alcohol is beyond stupid."

"Quil broke up with me." I tell him like that excuses it all.

"You were kissing Sam in his living room."

"Sam kissed me and I just lost it for a minute."

"Who do you want Bella?" he asks like it matters and I answer Quil without even thinking.

"It was always him Edward; he was my fate all along." I tell him crying.

"I'll call him and let him know you're awake and try to talk him into coming to see you." He tells me and then walks out, disappointment in his eyes.

He comes back a few minutes later and tells me Quil will be here soon.

He comes in and looks at me with disappointment in his eyes too, but his is mixed with hurt and that makes it so much worse.

"I am so sorry." I whisper to him. "I don't love Sam, I love you. It was always you. Meeting Sam and then seeing him here and sleeping with him and breaking up with Edward and then losing him, it all made me who I am and led me to you." I try to explain but it's hard to explain even though I believe it with my whole heart. Edward is right; I never stopped believing in fate even when I played it off as a child's thing.

"I know Sam kissed you, but why did you kiss him back?" He asks.

"It just felt so much like the Sam he used to be, the Sam I once thought I was meant to be with. But I don't love him. Honestly I'm not even sure I like him anymore. It was a lost in the moment mistake. I am so sorry." I tell him crying.

"I want to believe you but you always seem to make mistakes with Sam. How do I know you won't make more mistakes?"

"All I have is my promise but I understand if that's not enough." I tell him quietly.

"Will you stay away from him? Will you stop keeping Mason?" He asks.

"I will do anything you ask me to if you will forgive me." I tell him honestly.

"Once beautiful, I will forgive you once. And I won't even make you stop keeping Mason; I have no interest in controlling you. But if it happens again with Sam or anyone else than that's it. I don't care if it's in a month or 10 years. Never again."

"Never again. And I don't want to keep Mason anymore, I don't like the way Sam watches me. It's bothered me for a while but I need the money…"

"You're so stubborn beautiful, let me take care of you until you can work up your business."

I tell him again I will do anything he asks me too.

"Like I said, I have no interest in controlling you but I do want you to stop drinking. You could have died tonight or killed someone. I love you beautiful, I can't imagine you dying."

"I can do that, at least I can try to do that but if I slip up…"

"I will help you Bella, I love you. I will help you." He tells me kissing me softly.

Edward comes in and tells me he loves me even though I'm stupid and then tells us both good bye. My dad comes and asks Quil to leave. I want to beg him to stay but I know he won't. My dad is scary when he wants to be. He kisses me again then leaves and tells me he will see me soon.

"What were you thinking Bella?" He asks me looks at me and he's the most disappointed of them all.

"I wasn't thinking daddy. Quil broke up with me after Sam kissed me and I used to drink a lot and then Edward didn't like it and then Quil didn't care and then he did care but then he broke up with me." I ramble on.

"I convinced them not to press charges this time honey but I will not do it again. And I don't like you keeping Sam's son. I've seen the way Sam looks at you and a lot of your problems seem to revolve around Sam. I know I have no say but please be smart about this. Quil is a good man and he loves you. I will be here to pick up tomorrow. I love you Bella." He kisses my head and leaves me crying.

I try to sleep but I can't with all the noises and the nurses plus my head is pounding. I guess I deserve a night of discomfort.


	12. Chapter 12

Bella's POV

After the kiss and my accident I told Sam I would help him find a replacement nanny. He begged me to reconsider, trying to guilt me into keeping Mason saying he's attached to me but I told him I need to distance myself from him and I can't do that seeing him every day because of Mason. Then he tried to convince me that I only needed distance because I still loved him and I didn't want to admit that. So then I told him he could find his own nanny and to get out of my house.

Of course avoiding him completely isn't a possibility. It's a small town and he's part of the group that I spend most of my time with. Though Quil and I spend less time with Jake and Leah now and I feel awful for it but he assures me he's fine with it.

Since I have the time to devout to it my photography business has picked up and I'm actually making decent money and I am starting to do weddings which I like tons more than kids.

"What do you want to do next weekend for your birthday?" Quil asks me as we lay in bed Saturday morning before we have to get up and ready for the day.

"Get drunk and have sex all day." I tell him and he glares at me.

"Not funny beautiful, you could have died."

"But there is no chance of that if we stay here all day." I whine.

"You're doing good; I'm not letting you ruin it."

"Fine, can we just have sex all day then?" I ask him hopefully but I have a feeling he already made other plans.

"Not unless you want Edward there too. He asked if we had plans and I invited him over, also his sister, Rosalie I think, because she'll be in town."

"But she hates me!" I yell.

"Yeah he told me but he said he really wants to be with you on your birthday and she's depressed right now because their younger sister is pregnant again and she just got dumped. I'm sorry." He tells me and I sigh and tell him it's fine.

"Well since Rosalie will be here let's just invite everyone." I tell him.

"Who is everyone?" He asks.

"Jake and Leah, Embry and Michelle. My dad, you're mom if you want." I tell him.

"Cara will be in town."

"Fine Cara can come too and Sam I guess. I kind of miss Mason. I mean as long as that's OK with you. I understand if you don't want me around him."

"Sam can come, I trust you. I know you care about him; you loved him for a long time. I think it would be good if you could be friends, Mason got attached to you and Cara loves you." He tells me.

"You're too good for me." I whisper.

"I'm not, don't say that beautiful." He kisses me and then we both have to get up and get ready for the day.

As we're up and getting ready he's asks me if I'm going home or coming here tonight and I tell him coming here.

"You never go home, when is your lease up?" He asks and I tell him 3 months. "Then you'll officially move in here right?" He asks so hopefully.

"Yes, then I will officially move in here." I tell him and he smiles. I love him so much. I think back to kissing Sam and wonder how I could have been so stupid. I do care about Sam, I'm sure I always will. He influenced a lot of my life but Quil is perfect for me, like we were made for each other.

The day of my party I wake up to my phone ringing and Edward asking if he can take me to breakfast, just us before my party. Quil had to work for a couple of hours so I tell him sure. He's at my door 15 minutes later.

"How did you know I would say yes?" I ask him and he laughs and tells me he knew Quil was working and everyone knows I don't turn down food. I feel like I should be offended but it's true.

"So do you mind if Tanya comes today? Her plans got cancelled but she says it's fine if you don't want her there." He asks.

"Can she come in place of Rosalie?" I ask him and he laughs and says no. "Fine, she can come. I actually like _her_."

"I'm sorry honey but she's so sad. Her boyfriend that she was so sure was going to propose dumped her just a few days after Alice announced her second pregnancy. You know all Rosalie really wants is a baby. If it makes you feel better she doesn't want to come any more than you want her there. But I thought her being around people would be good for her. "

"Yeah whatever, Sam is coming too so it will be like the most awkward birthday ever." I tell him trying to not sound too whiny.

"Quil let you invite Sam?" he asks shocked.

"Quil lets me do anything I want except drink, but he really doesn't mind. Cara will be here and I miss Mason."

"Do you think you want kids?" He asks me.

"I don't really think so but it's not something I've talked about with Quil. I guess if he wants them then it wouldn't be awful."

"You're so happy with him honey. I mean I know you were happy with me but it was on the surface happy. With him, you like radiate it."

"Corny much Edward? But yes I am happy, happier than I was with you or even than I was with Sam before she got pregnant. I told you… it was always meant to be him."

We get breakfast and eat it and talk about his family and all the small town gossip in La Push and how much I am not looking forward to this party. After we're done he drops me off and goes home to get Rosalie and Tanya.

I clean up the house a little bit and then chill out waiting for Quil to get home. Apparently I fall asleep and wake up to Quil kissing me.

"Um, hey." I tell him happily.

"Hey beautiful people are going to be here in like an hour." He tells me helping me up.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep." I tell him laughing. "I'm going to go get ready." I tell him and he follows me into the room.

He asks if I enjoyed my breakfast with Edward and I tell him yes, thanks for letting him know I would be alone.

"I love you and he loves you. Though I can't see you how two were ever an engaged couple." I laugh and tell him Tanya says the same thing all the time.

"We were just so close and inexperienced I think. It kind of felt like we were each other's only hope." I tell him.

"I'm glad you were both wrong." Me too!

We set out the food and then we wait.

Jake and Leah and Cara and Mason come first telling us Sam will be here soon, he had just got home from work. Embry and Michele and Aaron come soon after and then my dad followed by his mom and finally Edward and Tanya and Rosalie.

Rosalie comes in with a scowl on her face but at the sight of Mason she perks up and asks Leah is she can hold him. Leah hands him over and Rosalie looks… happy and excited. Weird. I feel a little bit bad for her; it must be hard wanting a baby so badly and not being able to have it.

Parties without alcohol are pretty lame I think as we eat and the guys end up playing football except Edward who would probably break a nail while me and Edward and the other girls watch them and laugh at their lack of skills.

Rosalie never lets go of Mason and Mason seems happy with the arrangement.

I walk back in to gets drinks for everyone and Sam rings the doorbell. I open it and smile and tell him to come in.

"Thanks for letting me come Bella, it means a lot to Cara when you include her in things and I know Mason misses you." He tells me hugging me quickly.

"Our friends are the same people for the most part. Avoiding you would be too hard but you understand you can never kiss me or anything like that again right? I love Quil. I belong with him." I tell him.

"I know Bella and I am so sorry. Where is everyone?" He asks and I tell him in the backyard, I just came in to get drinks. He looks out the window and asks who the hot girl holding his kid is.

"Oh that's Rosalie, she's Edward's sister. She's had him ever since she got here. He seems to like her too." I'm talking but I realize he's staring at Rosalie.

"Sam! Help me carry the drinks." I tell him and he snaps out of it and helps me. We walk out and set up everything on the table.

Then he walks to Rosalie and introduces himself and she's smiling and he's smiling and Mason is giggling and OK… weird.

Edward catches me watching them.

"Maybe fate felt bad for Sam." He tells me trying not to laugh.

"And they decided to torture him with Rosalie?"

"They? I don't think fate is a group of people Bella." He tells me amused.

"Of course it is. It's made of all the Disney characters. From the princesses to the incredibles to Stitch. Though I doubt Stitch has a lot of say since he's an alien. I'm pretty sure Woody and Buzz are the leaders." He looks at me trying to figure out if I'm serious or not but he can't tell and I laugh.

"She's not a terrible person honey, she just for some reason never trusted you. And as it turns out…"

"I really am sorry for the way I handled things. You know that right?" I ask him seriously.

"I know but it all worked out for the best. You're happy and I'm happy and we're still best friends." He tells me kissing my head.

Quil convinces me to play football with them and while I suck it's a lot of fun. After a while Cara asks if we can eat cake now and I tell her of course we can. Everyone sings happy birthday even though I tell them I am too old for all this.

I open presents and I think how lucky I am that I have this awesome group of people that love me.

"Happy birthday baby, I can't believe you're 25. I know people say it all the time but I really can remember the first time I held you. I missed so much of your life and I am so glad you made your way back to me."

"I love you daddy." I whisper. My dad is one of those men that hardly ever express emotions so it's all I can do to not cry.

"Love you too baby girl." He tells me hugging me.

It gets late so he leaves followed by Quil's mom and then Jake and Leah with Cara and Mason much to Cara's protest.

Tanya tells Edward they need to go because she has a lot to do tomorrow. He hugs me and tells me happy birthday and tells Rosalie they have to go. She looks so sad but follows them out.

So that leaves Sam.

"Did you get her #?" I ask him.

"Definitely, I wasn't going to make that mistake again." He tells me and he looks a lot like the happy old Sam.

It makes sense that fate would have a plan for him too. Even if it is Rosalie. Blah.


	13. Chapter 13

Bella's POV

Once my lease is up and I officially move in with Quil things just get better. We have a home together and even though it was his before it was mine he made it very clear that it is my home now. He told me I could change anything I wanted but I like it the way it is. Every morning we get ready for the day together and every day we go to bed together and when we're both home we make dinner together. We work so well together and we hardly ever fight and he never tries to give me fake eggs.

I love him like I didn't know you could even love. I love everything about him so when we're having dinner one night and he asks me to marry him I choke on my drink and then tell him yes.

"Are you OK beautiful?" He asks me chuckling.

"Yeah, I just didn't expect this at all." I tell him happily overwhelmed.

A few minutes later the dread sets in. Wedding planning sucks. I stayed stressed for an entire year planning my wedding to Edward. The dress and the food and the guest list and the music and the bridesmaids. Not fun at all.

"You just went from happy to scared to death." Quil tells me watching me.

"I was just thinking about everything that goes into planning a wedding. It was hard and stressful." I tell him honestly.

"So don't plan a wedding. We can hire someone to do it all and you can be as involved or not as you want. Or we could have a tiny backyard wedding or we can elope beautiful. Anything you want. I don't care how it happens; I just want you to be my wife." He tells me.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too beautiful. So think about it and tell me what you want."

We finish dinner and then go running, I made him start coming with me. I don't think he actually likes it but he comes without complaining. I'm distracted and while normally running clears my head but tonight I cannot stop thinking about getting married. I would love to elope but I guess our parents deserve to see us get married. I trip over tree branch and fall. OK that hurts.

"Are you OK?" Quil asks concerned sitting down next to where I have no interest in getting up from.

"My ankle hurts." I tell him crying.

"OK beautiful, can you stand?" I try but it hurts too bad. He calls Jake and asks him to pick us up and take me to the hospital.

Once he picks us up and we're on the way Quil asks what happened. I never trip, I'm usually very focused.

"I was thinking about the wedding. I don't want to decide what we do. You decide. My ankles can't take it."

"You're getting married?" Jake asks and then tells us congratulations.

"Sam and Rosalie are getting married too but she's pregnant, are you pregnant Bella?" He asks and I tell him no, I'm not.

"Well that's good, she's not going to like the wedding competition as it is, she might hurt you if she had pregnancy competition as it is." He tells me laughing.

That kind of makes me want to get pregnant. I still can't stand Rosalie though we both try to play nice for the sake of the group. I think I try harder than she does. But her and Sam work together really well and while she's a bitch to me she loves Sam and Mason and Cara and I'm happy that Sam is happy.

"Let's just elope beautiful. No competition and no more hopefully sprained ankles." He tells me and I agree. If he doesn't think a wedding for the sake of our parent's is important than I am fine with that.

The doctor comes in and tells us sorry, but it's broken. Super.

"Can I run?" I ask him. I need to run; it's clears my mind and keeps me skinny. I eat horrible and I don't have any plans on changing that. He tells me yes; after it is completely healed I will be able to run again. Usually takes about 6 weeks.

"Uh, seriously? I'm going to get so fat." I cry.

Jake laughs and Quil glares at him.

"You're in amazingly good shape beautiful, 6 weeks won't ruin you but if you want we can eat healthier for the time." He's trying to make me feel better.

"I hate healthy food." I whine and Jake laughs again. "Please hit him."

"I'm sorry Bella." He tells me and I tell him it's OK. It just hurts and this sucks.

He waits for the doctor to set my ankle and I have to have a stupid cast and how am I supposed to do wedding shoots if I can barely walk?

"What about my shoots?" I ask Quil crying.

"I don't know beautiful but we have a whole week to figure it out OK? Just try to not stress out about it tonight. I feel bad; this is all because I asked you to marry me. You're not going to take this as a bad omen or something are you?" He's worried and I tell him no, I know we're meant to be together, nothing but death can change that.

After we're done Jake takes us home and Quil carries me to bed.

"So we can really just elope?" I ask him excitedly.

"Yep, when do you want to do it?"

"Would it be wrong to say I don't care as long as it's before Rosalie gets married?" He laughs and says yes it would be wrong but she is mean to me so it's OK. "Will you love when I'm fat?" I ask him.

"I will love you forever no matter what but you're not going to get fat."

I better not get fat, Rosalie would love that.

The next day I have to find a photographer to hire to work for me and hope she's good enough but not better than me. Luckily it's not wedding season so I only have 3 shoots booked for now. Plus a couple of kid shoots but I can probably manage those.

The next morning after Quil goes to work I'm hobbling around the house and then I give up and sit down and cry. My door bell rings and I scream come in! hoping he didn't lock the door.

Rosalie comes in and then just stares at me.

"What do you want?" I ask her probably more rudely than she deserved.

"Are you OK?" She asks.

"No! I broke my ankle, I'm going to have to give away my wedding shoots and I'm going to get fat!" I yell at her.

"Are you pregnant?" She asks and I look at her like she's stupid.

"No, not pregnant. I just can't run for at least 6 weeks."

"Oh Bella you're so skinny that won't matter at all. And if you do gain weight you'll be able to take it off in no time and I can help you with the shoots if you want. Daddy's company has photographers I'm sure Edward and I could convince him to let you borrow one. And they get paid so much with the company they won't be a threat to you."

"Why are you being nice to me?" I ask her confused.

"I never liked you, never trusted you. I thought you were with Edward for the money but the more I get to know you I see it was just bad decisions on both of your parts. But he still loves you and I decided I have no right to hold a grudge against you. I'm pregnant and I assume one day you'll be pregnant and our kids will probably be friends, there is no avoiding it really. So I thought we could start by trying to maybe be friends too?" She sounds sincere but she's kind of manipulative.

"I'm getting married." I tell her to see if she'll freak out about sharing the spotlight.

"Oh congratulations, do you know when? Sam and I are planning a quick wedding so I won't be showing. I can help you plan if you want; I know how much you hated it with Edward." She really is trying.

"Actually we're just going to elope. Congratulations on the baby and the getting married. Sam is a good man."

"He cares about you a lot. Cara too. It bothered me at first but I see you and Quil and then he treats me like a princess. If it wasn't for you, I never would have met him." She tells me wiping tears out of eyes.

"I had nothing to do with it Rosalie. It was fate. We can try to be friends." I tell her hugging her and crying.


	14. Chapter 14

Bella's POV

Rosalie is 8 months pregnant and while she's been miserable she's had a sudden burst of energy and she dragged me and Leah and Cara shopping.

We've become pretty good friends since the day she found me crying and then she helped me a lot keeping up with my business while my ankle was broken. She got married just 3 months after she found out she was pregnant in a huge wedding that was planned quickly and expensively. A month after that Quil and I flew to Las Vegas with Edward, Tanya, Jake and Leah to get married.

We're eating lunch when Rosalie suddenly grabs my arm and is I don't know… trying to squeeze it to death?

"Ouch Rosalie, that really really hurts." I tell her and she tells me she's sorry but it really really hurts.

Leah asks if it was a contraction and she says she doesn't think so, just a sharp pain.

"Pretty sure that's what a contraction feels like Rose." Leah tells her laughing.

Rosalie tells us she's fine but 10 minutes later she's grabbing me again.

"Damn Rosalie that hurts!" I yell at her and she starts crying.

Leah tries to talk her into going to the hospital but Cara informs us they won't admit you with the contractions being so far apart. Why we're listening to the teenager I'm not sure but no one knows otherwise so we decide to just take her home and call Sam on the way.

He tells Leah he will meet them at their house. It's a 30 minute drive and her trying to kill my arm seems to be getting more frequent.

"Rosalie please stop trying to murder my arm!" I hiss at her making her cry again. "Don't cry I'm sorry, it's OK, you can squeeze."

We're almost to her house when her water breaks so we turn back towards the hospital and Leah calls Sam again. We get to the hospital and somehow I get voted as the one that gets to be with her in the room until Sam shows up. Only once Sam shows up she won't let me leave.

Sam asks me to please stay and she's scared to death so I don't leave her even though I am not comfortable with this at all.

All I can think is… this is not going to happen to me. Having a tiny person come out of my body seems like the most horrifying thing I can possibly think of but the worst part is when the nurse says she can see the baby and I look and then I pass out and wake up in a hospital bed.

"Hey beautiful, glad you've decided to come back to reality." Quil tells me trying not to laugh.

"That was really, really awful. I hope you don't want kids. And if you do maybe we can adopt or something." I tell him completely serious.

"Yeah, about that… you're 3 months pregnant." He tells me cautiously.

"No, no that's not possible. I'm not doing that."

"You're going to be fine, I'll be with you the whole time and you still have months before you have to think about that. Other than the pain are you OK with having a baby?"

"I don't really know, I guess I don't really have a choice do I? I mean I think I would rather have a puppy, do you think we can trade it in for one?" I ask him and he laughs and kisses me. I wasn't entirely kidding… I mean I did OK with Mason but I was always so ready for him to go home. My own won't go home.

There is a knock on my hospital door and then Sam walks in.

"Hey Bella, I just wanted to check on you and to tell you thank you for staying with Rosalie until you passed out…" He tells me quietly. He looks so happy.

"How is the baby?" I ask him.

"She's perfect. We decided to name her Nadia." He tells me smiling.

"I like that. Tell Rosalie she'll have a friend in about 6 months. Unless I can convince Quil to let me trade it in for a puppy." I tell him and he looks concerned for a second before deciding I'm kidding. We'll see.

"Congratulations to both of you. I'm sorry Bella for everything I put you through but I'm glad that you're happy now. You two are perfect for each other." He tells me coming over and hugging me.

"It wasn't your fault Sam. Blame Woody and Buzz." He looks at me with that look again and then asks Quil if they gave me drugs.

"Sadly no, no drugs to blame. She just believes that the Disney characters control fate." Quil tells him patting me on the head.

I don't really believe that but it's fun because while Quil knows, Edward is still not sure and now neither is Sam.

"Um, OK I should be getting back to Rosalie." He tells us and then walks out.

"You cannot be telling people you want to trade our baby for a puppy beautiful. Not everyone knows how to take you." He tells me laughing.

A couple of hours later they release me and after seeing Rosalie and Nadia Quil takes me home.

Edward and Tanya come to check on me after going to see them.

"I can't believe you were in the room with her." Edward tells me still in a little bit of shock.

"Is that harder to believe than the fact that your sister just had a baby with the man I slept with a month before our wedding?"

"OK beautiful, bed time for you, you're kind of bitchy." Quil tells me as nice as possible. I hold my arms up and he picks me and carries me to bed and tucks me in.

Edward comes in and kisses my head and tells me he's happy for me.

"For a while I thought I would never be happy, every choice I made was the wrong way to go or just plain stupid. Thank you for sticking by me even when I screwed you over. I love you Edward." I tell him trying not to cry, this is stupid, I wasn't emotional before I found out I was pregnant, it's all in my head!

"I love you too honey. I'll see you soon." He walks out and a few minutes later Quil comes and lies next to me.

"How are you really feeling about the whole baby thing?" He asks putting his hands on my perfectly flat stomach.

"Besides the fact that I am going to get so fat and it's going to hurt more than I would like I'm happy and more than anything I'm so happy I get to this with you." I tell him pulling him to me and kissing him.

And then I fall asleep in the arms of the man I was always meant to be with.

_The End _


End file.
